16 ways I blew my marriage!

THE OTHER NIGHT I WAS SITTING with my family, most of whom are very successfully married. We were going around the circle, giving our best marriage advice to my little sister on the eve of her wedding. It’s something of a family tradition.

But I’ve had two marriages, and neither of them was successful. So, when it was my turn, I just made a joke about divorce – how you should always remember why you loved your spouse when you first met her so that, when times get tough, you can find someone new that’s just like she was. There were a couple of courtesy giggles, but overall my humour wasn’t welcome.

They finished round one, and started into another round. And that’s when I realised. Hey, I don’t have any good marriage advice to give. No. All I had was “don’t dos” – “how not to botch your marriage like I did”. They were my regrets, not my successes. And I didn’t really feel like anyone in that room would want to hear them.

So, later that night, I sat down and wrote out my ‘advice list’ for my little sister. You know … things I wish I’d known or done differently so I didn’t end up divorced (twice). And I thought maybe I’d share it with you, too. (If you don’t mind, I’ll just refer to ‘her’ – even though, eventually, there were two of them.)