The missing ingredient in your marriage?
Keepers of the Vine

Like a hunger that gnaws at us, like a homesick longing for we’re-not-quite-sure-what, the possibility of real closeness with another human being can often seem just out of reach … tempting us on, but all-too-often slipping through our fingers.

Talk to Angela and Peter, and they’ll list their blessings: a 20-year marriage … two teenage daughters … good jobs … and a decent life in their small NZ town. They’ll also tell you what they HAVEN’T got: “Intimacy,” asserts Angela bluntly. “Close, loving communication. Shared feelings. Concern about the other person’s needs.

“There are lots of negatives in our marriage. Not slanging matches, just conflict. And I think, ‘Who needs this?’ I’m no longer prepared to go on.

“I really want to make a go of it, but Pete’s withdrawn from me. He gets in moods and shuts himself off. If I can’t handle it and cry, he just tells me to stop snivelling.

“I deserve better than that …”

Issue 3 2013


Rest of issue

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