Empty Arms

One Mum’s Battle With Miscarriage
by Julia Bloore

The average length of time it takes New Zealand couples to get pregnant is seven months. When they attempt to conceive, they try not to get their hopes up, understanding that it probably won’t happen in the first month … maybe not even the second … maybe not the third. Despite their best efforts, however, hopes do rise – and they fall dramatically as another month rolls by with no sign of a double line on that test.

It can be an emotional journey, even when things do eventually turn out as planned.

So imagine the emotion involved in never seeing that faint second line, never feeling the surreal excitement that comes with it. Imagine months and months, years and years, of painful fertility treatment. Imagine having the positive test, having a scan, seeing the heartbeat … but then miscarrying the young life inside of you. Imagine carrying your beloved child to full term, then losing him on the day he’s born.

Statistics tell us that many people who’ve just read this paragraph will recognise it as their story. Catherine Sylvester, author of A Common Thread, is one of them.

Issue 2 2013


Rest of issue

"The most caring, loving, sensitive, balanced article on MARRIAGE I’ve read in a long time!"

- Brian

"Your magazine should be given to every couple who gets married. I’m sure it would help them – and probably save a lot of divorces."

- Jeff

"My husband never reads this kind of thing, but Grapevine’s cover caught his eye. He sat down, devoured the whole thing, and then said to me, ‘That’s what we’re missing – I think we should get some counselling’ …"


"Your last edition was so positive and helpful and optimistic – a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel at a time when my life seemed so disappointing. I’m sure other people found it the same."


"Your latest edition on DEPRESSION really hit the spot, and helped me with some pressing needs in my personal life. I have never before felt my experience could be understood or appreciated by anyone else. Now I feel no longer alone with that lonely problem."


"I find it impossible to read most things that come through my letterbox – but I never miss Grapevine. You reach me because you are real. Thank you for your honesty and your guts to stick with it."


"Thanks for all the relationship help you offer in Grapevine. Now that I know I can change old patterns, I feel much stronger inside."