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Pick of the Bunch

Croaking, Groaning & Exploding
by Chu K. Ling

FROG TALE

This 86-year-old guy loved to fish. And he was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up!” 

He looked around and couldn’t see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice again: “Pick me up!” – and there, floating on the surface of the water, was a frog. 

The man asked the frog, “Are you talking to me?” 

The frog said, “Yes, I am. Pick me up – then kiss me, and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are jealous because you will have me as your bride.” 

The man stared at the frog, then reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front shirt pocket. The frog panicked: “What, are you NUTS? Didn’t you HEAR what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!” 

The man opened his pocket and looked down at the frog: “Nah! At my age I’d rather have a talking frog …”


ONLY IN AMERICA! 

In the summer of 1998 at Lake Isabella east of Bakersfield, USA, a woman was having trouble with her boat. No matter how she tried, she just couldn’t get her new 22ft Bayliner to perform. It was sluggish in every manoeuver, regardless of the power applied. She tried for an hour to make her boat go, but finally gave up and putted over to a nearby mariner for help.

A topside check revealed that everything was in perfect working order – the engine ran fine, the outboard motor pivoted up and down and the prop was the correct size and pitch.

One of the mariner employees jumped in the water to check beneath to boat – and, when he popped back up only seconds later, he was laughing so hard he was almost choking. 

Under the boat, still strapped firmly in place, was the trailer …

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