A FEW YEARS AGO, WHILE Women’s Lib was just a trickle, there was a spate of books written to educate the weaker sex on how they should look after their spouses and anticipate their every need.
One of these was called The Total Woman… and it advocated activities such as calling your husband at work and telling him you craved his body, or meeting him at the door wearing nothing but an apron and a feather duster.
You should take his briefcase (wrote Marabel Morgan), lead him to his favourite chair, get him a cool drink and offer to massage his feet. Meanwhile the house should be immaculate, you should have a gourmet dinner simmering on the stove, and mood-music should be crooning from your stereo…
Ah, yes: total woman indeed!
I was remembering all this while thinking about Valentine’s Day. My husband and I married on Valentine’s Day and it was oh-so-romantic. But it was also very clever of hubby, because it’s easy to remember our anniversary.
So I’ve decided to publicly tell him what would pop my cork on 14th February next year:
Honey, I’d just like you to greet me at the door, lead me to my favourite chair, get me a cool drink and massage my feet while cooking a gourmet dinner.
And if you must do it wearing nothing but an apron and a feather duster, then bring it on!