SKETCHY SKYDIVE:
A man goes skydiving for the first time.
After listening to the instructor talk for what seems like hours, he’s finally taken up in the plane and is ready to leap. Full of excitment, he jumps out of the plane. After a short freefall, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing.
He starts to panic, but remembers his training and his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords … but to no avail.
Suddenly, he looks down and he can’t believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going UP! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver – by this time scared out of his wits – yells, “Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?”
The other guy yells back, “No! Do you know anything about gas ovens?”
TEMPER-TANTRUM:
As the crowded passenger plane is about to push away from the gate, the peace is shattered by a eight-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper-tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in an RNZAF uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken Air Marshal leans down and, motioning the boy toward his chest, whispers something into his ear.
Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.
As the old Air Force pilot slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. “Excuse me, sir,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”
The Air Marshal smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.”
