An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon return, found four males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, screaming at them at the top of her voice to get out of the vehicle. The four men didn’t wait around for a second invitation; instead, they got out and ran like mad. While a little shaken, the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat.
Small problem: Her key wouldn’t fit the ignition. Her car was identical … and parked four or five spaces farther down! So, she loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant she told the story to nearly fell on the floor laughing and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly white woman. No charges were filed.
THIEF SWALLOWS HIS PRIDE:
AUCKLAND, NZ: The offender has yet to be found, but the punishment admirably fitted the crime, police believe.
An elderly couple camping in a mobile home at an East Coast camping ground were awakened by a noise outside. Thinking nothing of it, they went back to sleep.
The next morning it was apparent a potential petrol thief had tried to take their fuel.
But as the police magazine Ten One reported, the thief got more than they bargained for. On the ground by one of the mobile home’s tanks was a pool of vomit and a syphon hose.
Also lying on the ground was not the cap from the fuel tank, but the cap from the mobile home’s sewerage holding tank ..