DON’T FORGET UNDERWEAR
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the local paper comes this story of a Brisbane couple who drove their car to the shopping centre, only to have the vehicle break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he repaired the problem.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis.
Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward and quickly reached down and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she glanced across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by, watching.
The mobile mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
Two teens were chucking around a rugby ball outside Eden Park when, suddenly, a dog ran out of nowhere and attacked one of them. Without hesitating, the other lad grabbed a stick and wedged it in the dog’s mouth – freeing his friend, and killing the dog. A nearby reporter returning from a Blues game saw the heroic feat and ran up to them.
“Amazing!” he exclaimed. “Imagine the headlines: ‘Auckland fan saves friend from savage dog attack’” he says as he scribbles it down on a small notepad.
“No way, man – I’m not a Blues fan!” the young hero states.
“OK then, how about: ‘Warriors fan rescues friend from wild animal’?” the reporter suggests, scratching out the last headline.
“Nope, don’t like the league”. Puzzled, the reporter asked the teenager who he supported. “I’m a Wallaby fan through-and-through, mate.”
The next day the front-page headline read: LITTLE AUSSIE THUG KILLS BELOVED FAMILY PET.