TOAST
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying his situation, he quietly says to himself, “I’m toast.”
A ray of light breaks forth from the sky, and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT toast. Pick up that stone in front of you and throw it at the chief.”
So the explorer picks up the stone and throws it at the leader, who’s knocked out upon impact. Breathing heavily while standing over the sprawled-out chief, he surveys the surrounding native warriors, standing there with a look of shock.
The voice booms out again: “Okay … NOW you’re toast!”
WOMEN VS MEN
INSTRUCTIONS: Ladies, read only the first part – men, the rest.
One day, a woman was out golfing when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”
The woman said, “That’s okay.” For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will have eyes only for me.”
So, KAZAM – she’s the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be 10 times richer than you.”
The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.”
So, KAZAM – she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.”
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here.
Male readers, continue reading …
The man had a heart attack 10 times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: (Ed: for fear of retribution, we’ll let you decide!)
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to show that some women never listen!
