TILL DEATH US DO PART?
Brother Thomas Epstein, who pioneered drive-in churches in Puerto Rico, recently took another step in his campaign to uplift human/auto relations. He became the first known minister to marry a man and his car.
In a Detroit parking lot, Brother Epstein officiated a four-hubcap ceremony as Benny Hugo married his Honda Civic.
Hugo promised to love, cherish and obey all traffic signals, till death or 50,000 miles (whichever comes first) do they part. The bride pledged her three-year warranty.
“I’m happy for my Benny,” said Hugo’s mother. “My only concern is that, if they should ever get divorced, who will get custody of the spare tyre?”
LEAST SUCCESSFUL EXPLORER:
Thomas Nuttall (1789-1859) was a pioneer explorer-botanist who specialised in studying the flora of remote parts of Northwest America. His work, however, was characterised by the fact that he was almost always permanently lost.
During his expedition of 1812 his colleagues frequently had to light beacons in the evening to help him find his way back to camp. One night he completely failed to return and a search party was sent out. As they approached him in the darkness, Nuttall assumed they were Indians – and tried to escape. His annoyed rescuers pursued him for three days through bush and river until, finally, he accidently wandered back into the camp.
On another occasion, Nuttall was lost again and lay down exhausted. He looked so pathetic that a passing Indian, instead of scalping him, picked him up, carried him five kilometres to the river, and paddled him home in a canoe.