THE THIEF AND THE PARROT:
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He stealthily crept through the lounge and was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a loud voice clearly saying, “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you”, the voice rang out again.
The thief stopped dead again. He was frightened out of his wits. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a birdcage, and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes”, said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a heavy sigh of relief and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”
“Ronald”, said the bird.
“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Ronald?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
ONLY IN AMERICA:
A man from Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbour’s beagle. The man had been in the beagle-owner’s fenced in yard, where the dog was chained. The award was less than sought because the jury felt that the man, who was shooting the animal repeatedly with a pellet gun at the time, might have provoked the dog.
