IN THE MODEN WORLD, it often seems like it’s harder than ever to accomplish your goals. It seems like everyone has already done the thing you want to do – that your idea is already out there, that your niche is beyond saturated.
Thinking about starting a podcast? So is everyone else and their mum. Hoping to write a book? With the advent of self-publishing, you’re not only up against authors approved by major publishing houses, but anyone, anywhere, with a laptop. Want to become a YouTube star? Better hope you get noticed next to the thousands of other folks uploading new videos every day.
There’s seemingly a million graphic designers, wannabe filmmakers, and other, probably more qualified candidates, gunning for the same job you want.
AND IN YOUR PERSONAL life, the competition can feel equally fierce. In the old days, you were just competing against people in your college or church to win the attention of a lady. Now you’re up against every Tom, Dick, and Harry on Tinder. The dating marketplace hypothetically stretches beyond your community to encompass your whole country … and beyond!
In both economic and personal spheres, demand seems high, and resources seem scarce. It’s enough to make you decide to give up and not try in the first place! Yet this feeling of scarcity is just an illusion, a myth.
In truth, there’s never been a more opportune time to live. Not only because it’s never been cheaper and easier to write a book, share your art, or start a business, but because the average person’s ability to execute on the basics has never been in such short supply.
While opportunities to achieve your goals aren’t as scarce as you think, there are areas where true scarcity does exist: in common sense, in social skills, in manners, in reliability. There’s a dearth of people who know, or have the will, to do the stupidly easy stuff to be charming and successful.
There are tons of people doing what you want to do, but how are they executing? In 90% of cases, not as well as they could be.
And that’s your opening. It’s doing the stupidly easy stuff that almost no one else is doing that can most readily set you apart from the pack, and up for success.
Below you’ll find a (non-exhaustive) list of the things it’s hard to believe people don’t do more often, and which have a huge ROI (return on investment) because most people can’t be bothered.
1. Write handwritten thank-you notes, always and often. Thank-you note writing has become such a lost art, and receiving snail mail is so delightful, that sending handwritten appreciation has become one of the most effective ways to set yourself apart from the pack. There’s never a bad time to send a thank-you note. Received a gift? Send a thank-you note. Job interview? Thank-you note. Friend helped you move? Thank-you note. Someone went to bat for you at work? Thank-you note.
2. Edit your emails/texts before sending. No one ever catches all of the spelling and grammatical mistakes contained within their communications, but giving your texts and emails a couple of reads before you hit send will tighten things up. These “clean” missives significantly contribute to making a winning digital impression.
3. Know how to make small talk. We spend so much time behind screens that when we finally meet people face-to-face, our conversation can often be awkward and stilted. But being comfortable with small talk opens a tremendous number of doors; sure, it starts out with the superficial, but it’s the on-ramp to deeper discussions – the pathway to relationships with potential lovers, new friends, and future employers. Fortunately, once you know the simple methodology that makes small talk flow, it’s easy to master.
4. Don’t be a conversational narcissist. Related to the above. The only kind of talk many people know how to make these days, is about themselves. Someone who knows how to listen and ask good questions comes off as stupidly charming.
5. Don’t look at your phone during a conversation. In an age of scattered attention, a person who can concentrate their attention on you, and fight the urge to look at their phone while you eat or talk – someone who can make you feel like the most important person in the room – is a charmer par excellence.
6. Dress well for a job interview. You don’t have to show up to a job interview in a three-piece suit (unless the position calls for it); overdressing can make as poor a first impression as under-dressing. But showing up dressed just one notch above what current employees at the company wear will immediately set you apart from many other candidates. Nice dress shoes, a pressed shirt, and good hygiene will help too.
7. Come to a job interview prepared to ask questions of the interviewer. Whenever we post our article on 10 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview, HR folks always weigh in with how “amazed” they are at the number of candidates who stare blankly when asked at the end of an interview, “Do you have any questions for us?” Know some questions to ask going in.
8. Take a woman on a real date. In a landscape of “What’s up?” texts and non-committal hang outs, taking a lady on a real date puts you head and shoulders above other suitors. What constitutes a real date? Click the link in our online article, and remember the 3 P’s: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid For.
9. Send a thank you text when you get home from a nice party/date. In my opinion, this is the #1 easiest and best way to be a more charming texter. Yet almost no one does it. When someone has you over for dinner, or you take someone out on a date, once you part ways, they typically worry a bit as to whether or not you had a good time. And a party host wants to know their effort to throw the shindig was appreciated. So even if you thank your date/host in person at the end of the evening, once you get home, shoot them a confirming text saying, “Thanks again for the delicious dinner. We had such a good time!” Trust me on this, it’s stupidly, stupidly charming.
10. Be reliable. No quality today can more readily set you apart from your peers than reliability. Showing up on time (and just plain showing up). Meeting deadlines. Managing expectations and not overpromising. Promptly responding to emails. Keeping your word.
Are freelance graphic designers, artists, video/audio editors, app developers, programmers, contractors, etc. a dime a dozen? Surely. But a reliable creative professional or handyman? A pink unicorn. If you couple talent and skill with reliability, it’s super easy to dominate your competition and your niche.
Setting yourself apart isn’t complicated or hard; it often involves simply doing the stupidly easy stuff that everyone else overlooks. Their carelessness is your gain; see through the myth of scarcity, take care of the basics, and the world is your oyster.
ART OF MANLINESS IS A ONE-STOP RESOURCE FOR ACTIONABLE ADVICE THAT COVERS EVERY ASPECT OF A MAN’S LIFE … YOU CAN FIND THIS ARTICLE AND ALL ITS LINKS ON WWW.ARTOFMANLINESS.COM
*THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN EDITED TO FIT. THE ORIGINAL IS CALLED, ‘THE MYTH OF SCARCITY: 12 STUPIDLY EASY THINGS THAT’LL SET YOU APART FROM THE PACK.’
