A man and his wife are awakened at 3am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, asks for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the husband, “It’s three in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asks his wife. “Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers. “Did you help him?” she asks. “No way! It’s 3am, and it’s pouring rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunks too, you know!”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?” “Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband. “Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband. “Over here on the swing,” replies the drunk.
LIES … IT’S ALL LIES!
In Norfolk, Virginia, police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message ‘He’s lying’ was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the ‘lie detector’ was working, the suspect confessed.