NAIL NIBBLER
A young woman, worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick, was advised by a friend to take up yoga to ease her nervousness. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.
One day her friend stopped her and, noticing her long, well-groomed nails, asked if yoga had totally cured her nervousness.
“No,” she replied, “but now I can reach my toenails, so I bite them instead.”
A CLOSE SHAVE
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He explains to the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. Reaching into a cup on the shelf, the barber pulls out a little wooden ball and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but he wanted to know what would’ve happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, “you’d just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”
