CAN I LET YOU IN ON a secret? My wife and I met in Woolworths! She saw a cute little guy with acne. I saw an angel in stiletto-heels. And we fell head-over-heels in lust.
We talked until the cows came home, kissed until our lips turned blue, and whispered sweet-nothings in each other’s ears.
Whatever she liked, I suddenly liked. Whatever I wanted, she wanted, too.
She pretended to enjoy elephant jokes, and skylarking in my mustard-yellow Morris Minor. I pretended to enjoy window shopping, and mowing her father’s lawns.
I mean, we were going to make The Right Impression even if it killed us!
But then we came home from our honeymoon … And as parking-up and smooching gave way to the REAL business of living, we began to find out who we’d REALLY married.
I discovered that Miss Makes-Your-Heart-Melt was also Mrs Nervous-Nelly – an over-organised tidyness-freak, with a tendency to nag when I was driving.
She discovered that little Mr Fun-Guy was also Mr Totally-Disorganised – late for everything, and an expert at forgetting birthdays and wedding anniversaries.
I discovered that she needed at least 16 hours sleep each night, and was usually too tired to whisper sweet-nothings in ANYONE’S ear.
And she discovered that my untold tenderness could change to clumsy, frantic groping when we got into bed.
It was a rude shock, I tell you!
But guess what? Somehow we SURVIVED! And 42 years later, we’re more convinced than ever: variety IS the spice-of-life, and our crazy, colourful differences are one of God’s nicest ideas.
