The New Zealand climate has been described as largely temperate, with four distinct seasons – our summers are comparatively cool, and our winters are relatively mild. According to Chat GPT, this is true … with some exceptions:
We are also sub-tropical, have some of the wettest regions in the world, and are prone to droughts, cold winters, windy cities, high humidity, lots of sunshine, and heavy snow. Just depends on where in our tiny country you happen to be standing at any given time.
So, in a nutshell, New Zealand is a confused country that identifies as temperate but likes to dabble in other climates’ ideologies.
One of those temperate climate exceptions found in NZ is the heavy snow. And while an approaching winter sees some people frantically searching for their passports and a cheap flight to the Gold Coast, many Kiwis start to get a little excited …
Say hello to the chionophile [KAHY-uh-no- fahy l] …
Chionophile is a nerdy way to describe people who love the snow – taken from the Greek ‘chion’ meaning snow, and ‘phile’ meaning lover. Now, if you love to ski but struggle socially, here’s a word of advice: don’t start advertising the fact that you’re a chionophile. That may be taken the wrong way and forever ruin any hope of social advancement.
We snow lovers (yes, I am one) are usually found in two camps: skiers or snowboarders. There are a few lesser-known categories, like tobogganers, dog sledders, and snow sculptors, but the former two are by far the most prevalent.
Skiing has traditionally been more popular, with snowboarding not arriving until the ’80s. It was initially viewed as the annoying distant cousin no one liked, before turning into the ’90s version of Arthur Fonzarelli – aka ‘The Fonz’. Some bright spark in the early days called it snurfing, which obviously slowed its acceptance. Thankfully, that name didn’t stick.
Back then, it was regarded as a rebellious sport – synonymous with surfing and skateboarding. Boarders were nonconformists, and there was a fair bit of hostility between the two disciplines. If they were still called snurfers, I don’t think anyone would’ve taken them seriously.
Thankfully, we all get on pretty well now and tend to interbreed quite readily. As a snowboarder married to a wannabe skier, I’ve managed to produce a robust mix of skiers and snurfers snowboarders with my four offspring – proving our genetics can happily intermingle.
Here in Godzone, we have some of the best skiing in the Southern Hemisphere, with seasons that can run from mid-June through to the start of November (on a good year). This will all change, of course, once our farting cows have their way.
The South Island wins the skifield competition, with more than 20 stretching from Nelson all the way down to Queenstown. The North Island has four – three on Ruapehu and one on Taranaki. The two biggies in the north – Whakapapa and Turoa – have recently gone through some significant changes, brought about by the owner going bankrupt due to a combination of financial mismanagement and a handful of poor snow seasons. (And that pesky Covid.)
In a nutshell, this has resulted in North Island snow lovers having half the amount of skiing for nearly double the cost. Which is similar to what we get with our taxes.
So, you’ve read my ramblings about the snow and its various disciplines, and convinced yourself to get in on the action? Well, good for you! You’ll be celebrating winter storms with other chionophiles before you know it!
But (I hear you ask), where do you start? Do you tap into your inner rebel and go snowboarding? Or join the long-established group of ski-bunnies? Or maybe dog sledding is for you?
If the first two options sound good, then read on! But first, let’s dispel a myth or two:
MYTH #1:
SKIING IS EXPENSIVE
Umm … yeah, it is, unfortunately. At least compared to a sport like darts. But it is cheap if your other option is Formula 1 racing.
There’s gear to buy (or hire), lift passes, travel expenses, accommodation … and all that adds up! For us, it’s a four-hour trip from the Coromandel to the Whakapapa skifield. We’ll leave at 4am, get a day’s skiing in, stay the night in National Park, ski the next day, and head home that afternoon. And to maximise our season passes, we’ll repeat that trip at least four times a season.
But you can reduce that cost in a few ways – you just need to be smart about it. We’re members of a club, so our accommodation is pretty cheap – and if you live near a skifield, you’re well ahead of the game! And if you live near a skifield, you’re already ahead of the game! Sorry – didn’t quite dispel that myth …
MYTH #2:
SKIING IS EXPENSIVE … and I’m not sure I’m getting value for money!
As I mentioned earlier, your bang for buck at Ruapehu isn’t what it used to be. Some of my friends have flagged the North Island slopes altogether and now save their money for a week down in the South with all its skifield options. They argue it costs less than travelling back and forth throughout the season up north – which is a fair consideration.
Others have flagged New Zealand altogether. Japan has been a firm favourite for folks around here … and all have returned boasting about the inexpensive skiing, amazing snow (powder, anyone?), and how incredibly nice the people were.
But value for money? I guess it depends on what you’re investing in – and for me, it’s more than just a good time …
IS IT DANGEROUS?
Well, I’ve cracked my tailbone, fallen down ice chutes, dislocated my thumb, and separated my AC joint … but I’m an idiot who still pretends I’m 21 and bulletproof while following my sons over big jumps. So that’s on me.
I remember sitting in the Knoll Ridge café feeling sorry for myself after hurting my shoulder, when a 70-year-old friend walked in, fresh off the slopes. He’d just hiked to the summit and snowboarded down by himself. I asked him what his secret was … He said, “Realising I’m not a duck! I don’t fly, and I keep my board on the snow!”
Wise words, indeed.
SO, SHOULD I SKI OR SHOULD I SNOWBOARD?
That’s a little like asking, should I breathe through my left or right nostril? Both will work, and both enhance your life experience. If you’re a beginner, then skiing is probably easier to learn. The first few days on a snowboard can be brutal – you’ll spend a lot of time falling over. A lot! Chairlifts – and in particular, T-bars – are infinitely easier with skis. Watching new boarders trying to navigate getting on a T-bar is incredibly entertaining.
Skiing, on the other hand, can be harder to master with all its technicalities. Once you’ve sorted the basics on a snowboard, the progression is definitely a little quicker.
If you already surf or skate, then snowboarding makes sense. I’ve always snowboarded because I grew up skateboarding and surfing – so it seemed a natural fit. But (if I’m honest) I sometimes wish I’d learnt to ski … but keep that between us.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU INVESTING IN, MIKE?
It’s a lot of fun, for sure. But for me (and my wife), it’s been an intentional investment into our kids – into spending quality time, doing quality things, together. How do you put a price on that? And, nearly 13 years on, my kids still love hanging out with their old man! We’ve created so many memories from our time in the snow – and for the foreseeable future, we’ll continue to create new ones.
And – as an added bonus – I’ve produced a family of chionophiles …
IF YOU ALREADY KNEW WHAT A CHIONOPHILE WAS, THAT PROBABLY MEANS YOU’RE ALSO A LEXOPHILE.
