NO PARKING PLEASE
Arturas Zuokas, mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, has found a solution to the problem of illegally parked cars in his city. “Mayor Zuokas wanted to send a loud and clear message that the city will not tolerate brazen and disrespectful behaviour by drivers who disobey parking rules,” explained his spokeswoman, Irma Juskenaite. “The mayor hopes that he will not have to repeat his performance,” she said, “although he says that he’s prepared to do so.”
The ‘performance’ came when Zuokas drove a tank over an illegally parked Mercedes Benz – then posted the video on YouTube, along with photos of other illegally-parked high-end vehicles.
Imagine this happening in New Zealand!
A DOUBTFUL TAIL …
It is rumoured that the Government plans to invest in a large ‘cat ranch’ in Fiordland. The proposal involves starting small, with about one million cats. Each cat averages about 12 kittens per year, and skins can be sold overseas for an average price of $3 each. This will give the country 17 million cat-skins per year to export – with potential annual revenue of $51,000,000 (or $140,000 per day).
A skilled cat-skinner can skin up to 200 cats per day, and supporters expect the project to create new jobs for about 300 New Zealanders. The Government intends, it seems, to feed the cats exclusively on rats. Rats multiply four times as fast as cats, and a ‘rat farm’ would be established adjacent to the cat ranch. If business commenced with a million rats, there would soon be four rats available per cat per day. The rats, of course, will be fed on the carcasses of skinned cats at a rate of one-quarter of a cat per rat.
As one spokesman put it, “This is a sustainable, self-supporting and automatic operation throughout – with a very small carbon footprint. The cats will eat the rats; the rats will eat the cats; and we will get the skins!”
The Government, however, denies all rumours that it hopes to import snakes from South America to cross with the cats, so that they will then skin themselves twice a year.
“This would be taking ‘Think Big’ too far,” said the spokesman.