A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had the habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say pardner, before you go … what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”
A man was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, “Do you have a license to catch those fish?”
“Naw, my friend, I ain’t got no license. These here are my pet fish.”
“Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let ‘em swim’ round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take ‘em home.”
“That’s a bunch of bunk! Fish can’t do that!”
The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, It’s the truth. I’ll show you. It really works.”
“Okay, I’ve GOT to see this!”
The man poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, “Well?”
“Well, what?” said the man.
“When are you going to call them back?”
“Call who back?”