BIRTHDAY SPLASH!
A rich millionaire throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
“I will give anything I own to the person who swims across that pool.”
So the party continues with no events in the water until suddenly there’s a great splash and all the guests run to the pool to see what has happened.
To their amazement, a man is swimming as hard as he can – fins are coming out of the water and jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him but just in time he reaches the end and gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?”
Breathless the guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the jerk who pushed me in!”
BURNING BRITISH BUNGEE:
The Clifton Suspension Bridge, 75m above the 210-metre-wide Avon Gorge, has attracted people with something to prove ever since it was finished. In 1885 Sarah Ann Henley threw herself from the bridge after an argument with a boyfriend, and was saved by her parachute-like dress and cushiony crinoline petticoats. In 1957, a Flying Officer of the RAF successfully flew a Vampire jet under the bridge at 725km/hr. He briefly celebrated before he and his jet disintegrated against the cliffs on the south side.
To prevent further incidents, rules were established prohibiting under-flights, over-jumps, and other aberrant behaviour. Bungee jumping is specifically banned. Despite this, James (22) violated the rules in 2004 by attaching a lengthy bungee cord, and leaping off.
His plan was to set himself on fire, cut the cord, and drop into the river below, quenching the flames. Unfortunately his knife was not up to the task. The blazing man dangled over the river for 26 interminable seconds, before he found a spare knife and severed the rope. At long last he plunged into the river, which extinguished the flames.
James was taken to the Bristol Royal Infirmary and later transferred to the Burn Unit in the city. A spokesperson for the Dangerous Sports Club told the BBC, “His heart is in the right place, but stunt men usually put on flame-retardant suits.” James himself told the BBC that it was a thrill-seeking stunt that went horribly wrong.
After that brief comment, he demanded £1000 for a full interview!
