BIRD BRAIN
A man was caught sitting at a make-shift campfire by a forest ranger. To the ranger’s horror, he noticed the guy was busy eating a bald eagle. Due to the illegality of his activity, the man was consequently arrested and put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation with the judge went like this:
JUDGE: “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offence?”
MAN: “Yes, I do. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.”
JUDGE: “Proceed.”
MAN: “I got lost in the woods. I hadn’t had anything to eat for two weeks – I was so hungry. The next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake, hunting for fish. I knew that if I followed the eagle, I could maybe steal its catch. I caught up with the eagle who lighted upon a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle, hoping he would drop the fish and fly away.
Unfortunately, my aim was off in my weakened condition, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened but figured that since I killed it, I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.”
JUDGE: “The court will take a recess while I consider your testimony.”
(15 minutes goes by, and the judge returns.)
JUDGE: “Due to the extreme circumstances you were under and because you didn’t intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges.”
The judge then leans over the bench and whispers: “If you don’t mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?”
MAN: “Well, Your Honour, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is somewhere between a California Condor and a rare Spotted Owl.”
LUCKY ESCAPE!
Wokingham News, Berkshire, England. An Army Officer assigned to the Military Academy in Sandhurst narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience. After mounting his horse unassisted, the horse immediately began moving. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the officer, Lieutenant Tommy Thomas, began to slip sideways from the saddle. Although attempting to grab for the horse’s mane, Thomas could not get a firm grip. He then threw his arms around the horse’s neck but continued to slide down the side of the horse.
The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his grip, the Lieutenant attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. His foot, however, became entangled in the stirrup, leaving him at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground. The officer was moments away from unconsciousness, and probable death, when Commodore Steve Cleary who had been shopping at the supermarket, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse.
