• Free Trial
  • Get the Juice
  • Donate Now
Grapevine Magazine
  • Recent Mag
  • Sponsor
  • Library
    • Magazines by Year
    • Articles by Year
    • Articles by Category
  • About Us
    • Meet the Team
    • History
    • FAQs
    • Feedback
  • Contact
  • Book
Select Page
Scrubcutter

Scrubcutters

Battle of the Bulge
by Frances Hall

SUMMER IS JUST AROUND the corner, and it’s time to put paid to some extra winter kilos.

It’s not easy though, because those kilos act like a little person, and kick up a terrible stink about being given the heave-ho. Talk about co-dependent!

Every morning when I hit the scales that little person tried to sabotage my efforts. “Just stand on the edge,” she would whisper, “then you and I can both keep me – and nobody will know!”

So I joined a weight-loss clinic … where there would be witnesses to help keep me honest.

But I was ill-prepared for little person’s ingenious schemes. “If you starve the night before,” she suggested, “you’ll look like you’ve lost weight, and that cute blonde at the diet clinic will be none the wiser!”

That worked once, but, from that point on, my body resisted starvation and held on to its fat reserves. 

So, there was only one thing for it. We were going to exercise – which would teach the little person a lesson, because she’d have to come along for the ride. But, unfortunately, she had that one covered as well: “You can’t exercise this morning,” she snarled. “It’s too cold … too hot … too windy … too wet!”

After weeks of struggle, I was desperate. So, eventually, I told that lying little twit to shut up, and get off my back, my hips and my thighs!

And just recently, I slipped joyously into a stunning new outfit …

… one size smaller!  


FRANCES HALL IS A GRAPEVINE CONTRIBUTING-WRITER. ‘SCRUBCUTTERS’ ARE RADIO SPOTS – SEE WWW.SCRUBCUTTER.COM – HEARD BY 180,000 PEOPLE EACH WEEKDAY ON THE NEWSTALKZB NETWORK.

Latest Issue & Articles:
Issue 1, 2023

Issue 1, 2023

Going Places

Where in the world would we be without gardens
by John Cooney

Under One Roof

Multi-family living
by Tracy Carter

Stillpoint

A wish-list for my Grandson
Keepers of the vine

Sacrosanct Suds

Choosing Love in a Laundromat
By Tara Couture

Home Sweet Home

How to buy a souvenir
by Guy Browning

Gluten-Free Mediterranean

Chicken Shawarma PLUS Pita Bread & Toum
By Helen Tzouganatos

Sponsor

  • Donate Now
  • Sponsor
  • Free Trial

About

  • Meet the Team
  • History
  • FAQs

Mag Library

  • Recent Mag
  • Magazines by Year
  • Articles By Year
  • Articles by Category

Get the Juice

Sign up to our enewsletter and keep up to date!

Follow Us

  • Follow
Copyright Grapevine Magazine. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions. Made with love by Husk & Ampersand Creative.