SUMMER IS JUST AROUND the corner, and it’s time to put paid to some extra winter kilos.
It’s not easy though, because those kilos act like a little person, and kick up a terrible stink about being given the heave-ho. Talk about co-dependent!
Every morning when I hit the scales that little person tried to sabotage my efforts. “Just stand on the edge,” she would whisper, “then you and I can both keep me – and nobody will know!”
So I joined a weight-loss clinic … where there would be witnesses to help keep me honest.
But I was ill-prepared for little person’s ingenious schemes. “If you starve the night before,” she suggested, “you’ll look like you’ve lost weight, and that cute blonde at the diet clinic will be none the wiser!”
That worked once, but, from that point on, my body resisted starvation and held on to its fat reserves.
So, there was only one thing for it. We were going to exercise – which would teach the little person a lesson, because she’d have to come along for the ride. But, unfortunately, she had that one covered as well: “You can’t exercise this morning,” she snarled. “It’s too cold … too hot … too windy … too wet!”
After weeks of struggle, I was desperate. So, eventually, I told that lying little twit to shut up, and get off my back, my hips and my thighs!
And just recently, I slipped joyously into a stunning new outfit …
… one size smaller!
FRANCES HALL IS A GRAPEVINE CONTRIBUTING-WRITER. ‘SCRUBCUTTERS’ ARE RADIO SPOTS – SEE WWW.SCRUBCUTTER.COM – HEARD BY 180,000 PEOPLE EACH WEEKDAY ON THE NEWSTALKZB NETWORK.