ATHEIST VS LOCH NESS:
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air, then opened its mouth to swallow both.
As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”
At once, the ferocious attack-scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me?!”
“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”
Twenty miles away from Haines, Alaska, Shannon Stevens sat down in the outhouse near her yurt to ‘relieve’ herself. She immediately experienced something that “felt like just a single puncture” in her … well … exposed bottom. “I jumped up and screamed,” she said. Stevens called to her brother, who was also spending the weekend in the yurt.
Erik Stevens went into the outhouse and looked into the hole. “Right at the level of the toilet seat,” he said, “maybe an inch or two below, was a gigantic bear face looking right back up at me.”
They fled the scene, and being a good brother, Erik bandaged Shannon’s wound, which she said might have been the work of the bear’s teeth or claws. “I don’t think we’ll ever really know that part,” she said.
Carl Koch, a biologist with the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, concluded that the animal — which left by the morning after the encounter — was a black bear. “During February, to sit down in an outhouse and have something like that happen is very unusual,” he said. … you think??