Humour Articles

• Back Chat: Green with envy

  MY WIFE BROKE HER ARM a while back. Tripped on...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to embarrass yourself

  YOU DON’T REALISE HOW important your dignity is until you...

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• Backchat: The Speech

  I’VE FORGOTTEN MOST THINGS I said to my kids. But...

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• How to be polite

  BEING POLITE IS A COMBINATION of saying please, thank you,...

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• Back Chat: One Fateful Night

  I KNOW THIS PROBABLY SOUNDS silly, but technology’s got me...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to make a decision

  IN LIFE THERE ARE NO SUCH things as decisions. Instead,...

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• Back Chat: The Wetsuit

  I CAN’T SURF TO SAVE MYSELF. Which is a tiny...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to be scientific

  SCIENCE IS THE RELIGION FOR people who can’t cope with...

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• The bottom line about body fat

  Fitness and vitality can be yours – providing you have...

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• BackChat: Cocoa

  WHEN I STOP AND THINK about it, I’ve spent most...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to clean your house

  Cleaning is the penalty we pay for not living naked...

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• Back Chat: Once upon a flying toboggan

  UNLIKE MY GRANDKIDS, I’m not into winter sports. Skiing scares...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to annoy yourself

  HOWEVER IRRITATING OTHER people are, no-one has the power to...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Lie

  LYING IS A KEY PART OF MODERN life and is...

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• Backchat: Lost & Found

  I MET MY WIFE-TO-BE MORE THAN 50 years ago. And...

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• Backchat: Flying at last!

  I never met Larry Walters, but I wish I had...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to be irritated

  Irritants are a form of life rage served in fun-size...

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• Backchat: We Must've Looked Awesome!

  I got my first bike when I was eight. A...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Open Stiff Lids

  For some people life is all jam, for others it’s...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to say Goodbye

  They say that goodbyes are mini-deaths. In fact, they’re more...

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• Backchat: Saved by the Horse

  I USED TO BE SCARED OF HORSES. And if you’ve...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Parallel Park

  Everyone can remember where they were when Diana died. Everyone...

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• Backchat: My Small-Boat Dilemma

  I SPENT A WHOLE DAY IN A SMALL boat last...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Explore

  IN THE OLD DAYS, EXPLORING used to be simple. You...

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• The Geezer: Bucking The Trend

  I AM IN THE PROCESS OF congratulating myself. For years,...

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• Backchat: The Joy of Camping

  The best family holidays the Cooneys ever had were the...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to change your life

  ANY FOOL CAN CHUCK IN their job, sell their house...

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• The Geezer: Geezers and their cats

  I strongly believe that the veterinarians of the world regard...

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• Backchat: Road-Rage

  IT ALL STARTED WITH A phonecall. Daughter and hubby were...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to do the Washing

  The washing machine is the continuously beating heart of the...

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• The Geezer: Geezers and their Dogs

  Dogs are a mixed blessing to old geezers. They know...

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• Backchat: Spaghetti!

  I had a flashback the other night. We’d been enjoying...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Drive on Motorways

  There are three speeds on Motorways: fast, faster and “For...

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• The Geezer: Geezers vs Health

  THE ELDERLY BLOKE IN THE bed next to mine didn’t...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to be Security-checked

  Security checks are a cross between the police and your...

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• The Geezer: Great Uncle Roger

  I’ve often wondered where my rebellious old-codger streak comes from....

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• Backchat: Lucky to be Alive!

  We seem, these days, to have an over-supply of rule-makers,...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to be Polite

  Being polite is simply a combination of saying please, thank...

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• The Geezer: That Interwebby Thingee

  There's nothing an old geezer hates more than being unable...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Use a Lift

  Calling a lift is easy. Simply press the button and...

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• Old Geezer: Geezers, Cars and Style

  I am not sure this happens to every geezer, but...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Wash Up

  The world is divided into those people who do the...

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• The Geezer: Welcome to Geezerhood

  There’s a line. And I have crossed it. It’s called...

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• Home Sweet Home: From The Dog About The Cat

  To: Master of the House ...
  

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• Home Sweet Home: From the Cat about the Dog

  To: Large Human Resident of My Home ...

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• The Geezer: Growing Old Disgracefully

  Growing old disgracefully has its ups and downs ...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Give Clear Directions

  It's worrying to thing that, at any given time, 25%...

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• The Geezer: Don't Stop the Music!

  Gee, us Geezers really are sentimental old coots aren’t we?

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Drive a Trolley

  There are two main types of trolley. The first is...

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• The Geezer: Memories of a Geezer

  A great thing about becoming an old Geezer ...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Cry

  Kiwis aren’t given much to crying. They used to cry...

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• The Geezer: Long Live the Geezer!

  I’ve decided I simply wasn’t meant to live this long.
  

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Fix Things

  Things are very like people in that at any given...

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• The Geezer: How Geezers Should Behave

  The great thing about becoming an old geezer is ...
  
  

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• Backchat: Guilty as Charged!

  I'm not normally a grumpy grandad. I want my grandkids...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Have a Wash

  Washing is something we all do almost every day ...

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• Home Sweet Home: How to Keep Tidy

  Everything in life has its proper place. If it’s not...

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• Home Sweet Home: Keeping Warm in Bed

  There are basically two ways of keeping warm in bed...

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• Home Sweet Home: The Truth About Armpits

  Your body is like a superbly engineered luxury car ...

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• Home Sweet Home: One Woman's Week at the Gym

  DEAR DIARY: For my birthday this year, my husband signed...

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• Home Sweet Home: Understanding Fishing

  Fishing is the act of sitting in a boat for...

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• Home Sweet Home: What Women Want in a Man

  Women want a man who ...

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• Home Sweet Home: You can't talk to my back right now - it's out

  I’ve never actually seen my back, but I know it’s...

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• Home Sweet Home: Your Dog Is Calling

  Last year a South Korean company began offering a service...

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• Home Sweet Home: Diary Of A Colonoscopy

  I recently called my gastroenterologist, Andy, to make an appointment...

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• Home Sweet Home: What The Dog Thinks

  My dog believes it is starving and that I'm the...

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• Home Sweet Home: Gift Wrapping Tips For Men

  Men are not big gift wrappers ...

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• Home Sweet Home: How To Be Bald

  Women rate baldness somewhere below webbed feet ...

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• Home Sweet Home: Warning All Women!

  You may have read the scare-mail about the person whose...

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• Home Sweet Home: The Curse Of Curfew

  My eyelids snap open at exactly 2200 hours, responding to...

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