Backchat: Road-Rage

Backchat: Road-Rage

I drove on, trying to put more distance between me and a potential punch-in-the-face. If necessary, I schemed, we could find a police-station. But, all of a sudden, I noticed in my rear-view mirror that the other car had stopped. He’d given up the chase. Phew!

by John Cooney

IT ALL STARTED WITH A phonecall. Daughter and hubby were going to look at a car. Did we want to meet them at the dealers’ and take a look, too. We were already out and about … so yes, why not?

Closer to the address they gave us, we were taking a left turn when another driver, coming the other way, tried to beat us around the corner. I tooted my horn and boldly claimed right-of-way. But, several minutes later, I noticed he was following me. Close on my heels. Too close for comfort. And I warned my wife: “I think I’ve annoyed him!” 

Several more minutes later, he was still there. And when I turned into the dealership, he turned too. Things were getting ugly, and I warned my wife: “This could be a case of road-rage!”

“What are you going to DO?” asked she, alarmed and somewhat scared.

“Well, last thing I want is a SHOUTING match!” I announced, looping around the carpark towards the exit. “I’m gonna try to LOSE him!” And, as we roared off down the road again, I caught a fleeting glimpse of his passenger. “Well, HE might be mad at me,” I reported, “but at least SHE seems to be smiling!”

I drove on, trying to put more distance between me and a potential punch-in-the-face. If necessary, I schemed, we could find a police-station. But, all of a sudden, I noticed in my rear-view mirror that the other car had stopped. He’d given up the chase. Phew!

At the very same moment, my wife’s cell-phone rang loudly. It was our daughter. 

“Where are you guys GOING?” she demanded.

“We’re trying to get away from a man who wants to hit your father!”

“WHAT???” she asked, laughing inappropriately.

“It’s not FUNNY!” objected mother. “I’ll call you back when he’s gone.”

“Wait! That’s US!” shouted daughter.

“What???” asked mother.

“That’s US in the other car!” explained daughter. “We’re giving it a test-drive …”

“Oh …” muttered my wife, going very still and quiet. 

“Oh …” muttered her husband, slowing down and pulling over. “I think we’ve just had a senior moment!”

And together they collapsed in a fit of the giggles.


JOHN (GRAPEVINE’S FOUNDER) STILL ARGUES THAT IT COULD’VE BEEN ANYONE’S MISTAKE. BUT HIS KIDS HAVE SHOWN NO MERCY, AND ARE STILL DINING-OUT ON THIS EMBARRASSING STORY.